Lindsey Graham: The Exit Interview

When a well-known personality passes away, I will sometimes say to myself, “I wonder how THAT exit interview went…”

I envision them sitting before God, the Universe, or any and all deities we have followed, and ponder what they thought and said when the reality of existence, theirs and all of ours, is presented to them.

As someone that believes that the universe lets us come back as any times as needed, that factors into my thoughts as well.

As does the theology and other perspectives of the recently departed.

So earlier this month, when South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham passed away, I found myself pondering this scenario, yet again.

The following is what I envisioned…

God: “Lindsey! Good to see you again! Have a seat!”

Lindsey: “Hello! I’m sorry… who are you? Have me met before? I’m sorry I can’t remember. I feel like I may have had one too many mint julep’s last night… and I meet so many people….”

God: “It’s okay Lindsey. That is often the case. I’m God! It’s really good to see you again. I have some news. Not bad news… just news. Your time on Earth as Lindsey Graham has come to an end. We knew the date and time this would happen, so that’s why we were completely prepared to welcome you back at this very moment.”

Lindsey: “Wait… I’m dead?”

God: “Well yes… that’s a term some of you humans came up with. And we can go with that.”

Lindsey: “But… you don’t look like God?”

God: “I know… I like to kind of shake things up a bit during an exit interview. That’s why I look like Alanis Morissette in the movie “Dogma.” She did an amazing job in her portrayal of me. But I digress. Lindsay, God is not a man or a woman. None of us are. We are spirit. And we can put that spirit into any Earth Suit we design. But remember, the Suit is just a suit. Not who we are.”

Lindsey: “Okay… this is really not what I expected…. none of this is…”

God: “No worries… I’m sorry… can I get you something to drink? Coffee, tea. cocoa, mint julep? Actually… just drink out of the cup in front of you. It will have within it whatever libation you desire.

“So Lindsey, I see that you never married…”

Lindsey: “I know God… about that…”

God: “Lindsey… now I know that you did meet someone during your time on earth. It was arranged that you would meet. And I know you really loved him. You were just afraid…”

Lindsey: “You know about that? I’m so sorry… I didn’t want to succumb…”

God: “Succumb to what Lindsey… love? The two of you loved each other… genuinely and purely. From your souls. That kind of love is the greatest gift of all! A lot of those earth folks think that it’s wrong if you have been assigned the same gender Earth Suit, but that is misinformation. And not to worry… nearly everyone screws up the love test, for a number of reasons. It’s just part of your eduction package.”

Lindsey: “But the Bible says…”

God: “Oh Lindsey… there are a ton of religious texts floating around down there, written by folks that were trying to understand things they had no way of fully grasping. Let alone trying to convey these things to others, with limited knowledge and language. They were so moved, they truly felt the need to share these ideas. I know they meant well, but they really had trouble nailing it down. But, that’s all part of the education package as well. To learn to sort out for yourself what rings true and what falls short. That’s why we have a relationship custom-built for each soul that visits Earth.”

Lindsey: “What a  minute… you mean I could have shared my life with the person I loved, and you would have been okay with that?”

God: “Of course! Love is all that matters Lindsey. If it’s really love, then that’s a good thing. It’s precious and so rare to find this gift among other souls on earth. So many are focused on… well.. the more earthly connotations… you know… the “bow chicka wow wow” stuff. That’s not love… that sex. And sex is also good, if you are doing is for the right reasons. Love, joy, that rapturous feeling you sometimes get. Not out of power, domination, humiliation, or any of the ugly reasons humans can come up with to mess up a good thing. But again, I digress…”

Lindsey: “Really? Son of a bitch!!”

God: “Lindsey… language…”

Lindsey: “I’m sorry God.”

God: “I’m just kidding. We love colorful language. Amazingly good at projecting feelings through words. Just like you just did. It’s the meaning behind the words… not the actual words. Something else humans get really confused about.”

Lindsey: “So God… can I get a do-over? I feel like I really messed up this life of mine.”

God: “Lindsey, of course you can. I love you. As many chances as you need, that’s how many you can have. I just want you to get it right.”

Lindsey: “Really? But what about hell?”

God: “Oh Lindsey… there is no hell… that’s is just some mind-control BS some humans made up in order to control others.”

Lindsey: “Wow… this is really not what I expected…”

God: “I know… it’s all a little confusing. You spent 71 years being lied to by most everyone you knew. Many of them had no idea they were lying…it’s just a slew of crazy ideas that have been passed down from one generation to the next, ever since all this whole “souls on earth thing” began. But a lot of good ideas got passed down as well. And often it was from people that loved you, so it makes it quite difficult to discern which is which. But again it’s all part of the learning process. It does take a lot of time, and a lot of lives, but it’s really worth it.”

“Listen Lindsey, I’m sure you have a lot more questions. I have some folks here that will be happy to explain anything and everything to you, and take as much time as you need. You also have some decisions to make. If you want to go back to Earth, or a different planet. If you decide on Earth, where to you want to touch down at. Do you want to learn some new lessons, or just focus on the ones you didn’t quite finish up with this time around. And then there is the whole Earth Suit design thing…”

Lindsey: “I’m so confused…”

God: “I know son… I know… just know this. Because this is all that truly matters.

I have always loved you.

The Universe has always loved you.

Because the Universe is love.

And we are all part of it.

We are always with you, even when things are bat-shit crazy. We are always there.”

Lindsey: “I saw what you did there, with the colorful language…”

God: “See? It really helps to paint a picture! Now bring it in buddy. Remember, love is everything. The only thing.”

I hope I haven’t offended. Not my point. I just hope to open folks minds to the possibilities.

And to Lindsey Graham… Godspeed buddy. I know you will take the lessons of this life, and apply them to the next, and get a little closer to enlightenment. You will get there. I have faith.